


When Stars Fade

by Star_Nymph



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 16:43:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5171699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_Nymph/pseuds/Star_Nymph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She tells them all the truth–after one thousand years, they can take it. “I’m dying.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Losing Her

**Author's Note:**

> For those who don’t know, a while back I wrote two pieces involving the slow death and then funeral of Neo-Queen Serenity and I submitted them to keyofjetwolf. Well, obviously after the big nuke of 2015, they were no longer up for viewing pleasure (or, in this case, viewing pain). For a while I figured I’d let Jet repost them on the her blog with her comments, but I decided against that after…well…deciding to write third part? 
> 
> Here is the first part of the depression trilogy with an edited beginning to sound less like headcanon. Also, for context, the original notes I wrote with it will be under the cut. 
> 
> Anywho, please enjoy the reposted stories and look forward to the reposted second part and new third part. Please leave comments and reblog if you can–they make the writer super happy!

(Original Notes: Anyway, so I was thinking casually over Crystal Tokyo and I was thinking ‘Okay, but what if the power just killed Serenity’? As if the crystal was so tied into her by now that eventually her physical form just wasn’t enough for it to handle and no amount of longevity wasn’t going to ever stop that. It’s not dying from old age so much inner energy decay. The worst part of is that it is natural for the Serenity line, but no one has ever seen that happen to be able to realize that one day Serenity was going to start to get weaker.)

Serenity is the first to know and doesn’t tell anyone. Serenity is one thousand years old and some things have changed for her and one of those things is complaining. She doesn’t want to say she knows what’s coming, but she’s aware that whatever it is was inevitable. It’s not as if it’s something spectacular either; there’s no bloody coughing or losing sleep or looking weaken. It’s subtle and Serenity knows there might not be a point to look into it because it’s so small. Perhaps she also knows that her saying anything would deter everyone from their duties and she prefers to think that the time and patience it would take to figure if there was something wrong with her and why wouldn’t be worth it.

There’s that bit of Usagi so familiar that sucks it in and thinks that whatever this is hers and she won’t trouble her friends, husband, and daughter.

So she doesn’t.

It goes on for months. Serenity’s hair loses a bit of its luminosity. Her eyes become grayer in the light. During her meals, she finds her self unable to eat one more cupcake and instead slips it to her daughter, saying that she saw her eyeing it. She holds Mars arm a lot more when she walks. There are times when she’s a little slower than the rest. She sleeps longer. World meetings become a long, long period of her looking at the clock, her eyes becoming tired, waiting for the moment where it’s appropriate to get up and excuse herself to her bedroom.

Worst of all, Serenity can feel time again. She can feel the minutes ticking by where before they sped on for her. Every second drags on as if for an hour. It makes her feel and what she feels is the long arms of exhaustion dragging her in for the final sleep–but she’s not ready for that.

It’s so tiny compared to what is truly happening. It’s not surprising no one notices it. These are things you’d take for granted after a literal millennium. If she didn’t feel, Serenity wouldn't have known either.

Then one day, it happens. She falls. She falls so hard that her chin slams against the floor. It wasn’t from clumsiness, mind you. Her legs simply gave out on her right then and there, unable to take her weight anymore. She had felt it early that day in the garden–this gnawing emptiness and weakness in her thighs–but she thought nothing of it. Silly her, she thought she hadn’t eaten enough.

She moves her arm to upright herself, but she can not do it. Every piece of her feels so thin and breakable and she has to lay there, alone, on the marble floor of the hallway, trying to be strong enough to stand. Eventually, she gives up and she yells at the top of her lungs for someone, anyone, to help her.

Two of Small Lady’s guardians–Vesta and Juno–are the ones to finally find her and by then she can’t keep her eyes open. She loses consciousness while they yell for Mercury and Endymion.

When she wakes up, the others are all around her and Endymion had her hand in his. She smiles when she realizes that she can grip it. However, her guardians are not much for a welcomed awakening. Mercury is on her computer, trying to figure out what’s wrong with her but all of her scanners says Serenity’s body is completely healthy, yet she still lacks energy (mind you, it’s been many years since any of them were sick, much less have collapsed, so this is a rightful call for concern).

Jupiter says if it isn’t internal, it must be external. Someone must have attacked her. How? She doesn’t know but it’s Jupiter and if there’s someone to blame, she will figure it out. Venus doesn’t say anything; her eyes are on the scanner with a frantic Mercury, as if she can find out what is the mystery sickness and why it’s not showing.

Endymion, when she turns to him, is not looking at her. He’s looking at her hands, squeezing them, and she realizes he might be trying to connect to her like he did to Chibi Usa all those years ago during the Death Busters’ attack.

Then she looks at Mars and out of everyone in the room, she’s the only one looking at her. Her lips are pressed, anger much different Jupiter’s, and she puts her hands on the bed’s frame. “What is it?”

Serenity looks away, waves her hand, smiles, and says, “It’s nothing.”

Between all the voices, Mars clearly hears her and her eyes are ignited as they widen because she knows–she doesn’t what, but she knows. “You know what it is!” She says with outrage, “You know exactly what this is! Damn you, Serenity, tell us!”

Serenity feels so tired and she looks at the window where the sun is shining and says, “Yes.” Everyone goes quiet and now she can feel them looking at her in shock and surprise and it makes that empty feeling come back. Serenity detaches her self when she says, “It’s the crystal.”

She tries to explain what she can. Tries to sum up that the crystal is draining her now, maybe it’s always been draining her, or decaying her, or using her–she’s not entirely sure how to explain it, even when Venus demands that she tries–and now her body can’t withhold it anymore and has slowly been getting weaker. It’s hard because she can feel Endymion dying right next to her, but she can only look at Mars when she speaks and she looks as if she’s turned off. She tells them all the truth–after one thousand years, they can take it.

“I’m dying.”

She tells Small Lady in private with Endymion and her daughter goes into hysterics right there and they hold her tight and Serenity’s heart drops because she realizes she’s not ready to let go of her daughter. So she doesn’t. She holds her adult child in her arms as long as she can and it rips her apart when they’re both forced to let go.

In the coming months, Serenity is bedridden. When she walks, it’s only in the gardens and she must not be alone and she sometimes needs a cane. The world does not know and she prefers to keep it that way for now. She's already burdened her family; she’d rather not do the same to an entire planet, plus start rumors and possible uproars.

Her senshi began to have an influx in emotions they haven’t had since they were all in their twenties. Mercury throws herself into her computers and ancient books as if she expects to find the answer to a sickness that simply does not exist. She says there’s simply no way that isn’t a cure; that she’ll find it. It’s a stubbornness that Serenity has never seen in her friend before, but then she also sees the tears and knows it’s denial. Mercury was logical but even she faltered at times.

Jupiter is angry. She wants people to punch, enemies to blame. She wants something to be at fault for this situation. When she calms down, she asks what Serenity needs. She can sew her a new blanket. They can make her a new teddy bear. She can bring a new tea or make a gigantic cake. “Anything.” She says as she holds Serenity’s hand to her face, “Anything, please.” And all Serenity wants, every time, is a hug and a kiss and some laughter.

Venus avoids her as much as she can. Serenity is not sure what she’s doing–maybe running the show for her–but when she returns, she laughs and jokes as if nothing is wrong. Did you hear about Artemis getting his tail stuck in the door? Yeah, I did that. Hilarious. They sit and laugh as if nothing is wrong, like they’re Usagi and Minako again and Venus even steals a drinks and gossips about the cute soldiers she saw today despite the fact that she hasn't cared about that sort of thing in years. Serenity knows there’s denial there as well and maybe some anger. She tries to talk to her but Venus laughs and waves it off, then when she thinks she’s not looking, her shoulders slump and she looks tired underneath all that youthful skin.

Mars is the one who spends the most time with her outside of Endymion, Small Lady, and Luna. She’s the one who has all but accepted her fate and entertains Serenity’s desires to let it be. She does not have to be happy about it and truly she isn’t. When she yells at Serenity, her voice becomes higher and desperate and her words have a second meaning. These are the moments where the Queen falls silent and takes those words to hurt; Mars never did have an easy time accept death, though when it came time for her own, she always took it with serene dignity.

Serenity almost felt insulted when she thought of that, but she didn’t say.

Those moments, though, are when they call each other Rei and Usagi and those names feel so distant because Rei and Usagi never had to deal with death like this. The slow inevitable creeping shadow that was taking the life out of her day by day.

Mamoru cannot stop saying 'I love you’. Every time it sounds like he’s dying with her and maybe he’s trying to. She puts her hand on his, smiles, and begs him not to do it. Please. Small Lady still needs him. Just live until you can’t anymore. Don’t let her go without promising that he’ll stay alive for their child.

Mamoru cries and promises he will. And she knows he will. Mamo-chan, her Mamo-chan, can do anything.

Small Lady is by her side when she’s not at her lessons. She talks like she’s six years old again. So excited and fast and she rambles. She lies her head on Serenity’s lap, plays with her hair, and takes about everything. Serenity thinks she’s trying to be a child again, when her mother was strong and able to hold her in her lap. She shouldn’t think that but she does and Serenity lets her. She tells her daughter what she needs to know when she’s…well…not there (she will not say gone and she will not say dead because she sees her daughter’s heart shatter and she can not take that) and becomes Queen. Papa and Venus and the others will help her. She’ll be a beautiful Queen. Then she hugs her and Serenity almost starts crying, but she holds back her tears.

When the Outers visit, she and Pluto stare at each other, knowing the truth and sharing that between them. She knows how time feels like now. She understands and Pluto smiles at her for that.

She welcomes Uranus and Neptune as if she’s fourteen and happy to see them. She truly is. Neptune hides what she feels, though she never looks at the Queen. When Uranus leaves her chambers, she might have tears in her eyes. Serenity speaks softly to Hotaru and asks her to please watch over Small Lady for her. She’s what her child needs. She’s the one who won’t leave. Hotaru tells her that she will always be there and holds the Queen, whispering that she’s sorry. Serenity doesn’t know what for, but she lets the girl say it until she feels she’s said it enough.

It might be selfish to say but in her last months, Serenity felt so happy. She laughed and smiled so much more. She greeted everyone with her old exuberance as if Usagi had returned from years of slumber inside the Queen’s heart. Death, it felt, had released her stress, her duties, and her worries. For as long as she could remember, there had been a weight on her shoulder–the weight of her past, her future, her life as a warrior, her destiny as Queen. Now, there was only one path that she could take and suddenly it did not look so dark.

And maybe, just maybe, she was glad to die first. Her life had been set up to be the person to be protected–to watch her loved ones die one by one or all together. It was a torment to think that one day she would be too late and her crystal would not restart Mars’ heart or refill Mercury’s lungs, rebuild Jupiter’s bones, or stop Venus’ bones. No longer that pain of standing over someone’s dead body and being so alone.

Ironic, given how she finally gave in on her last day. She was alone for once. She had no idea where anyone was and at that she was grateful. She felt an energy she had not felt in a long time. It made her a special kind of restless, fill her up with ecstasy and clarity, and she found herself lifting her body from the bed and walking. She laughed, stretching her bones, and turned to the wind. The sun was out. It felt so good stepping into it! She wanted to stand in it directly. She left her room in only her nightgown and went down to the garden. She ran through the grass and flowers, twirling on the marble path, splashing water from the lakes and fountains. She danced, gather flowers, she felt as though she was both Usagi and Princess Serenity; all her lives together in her, filled with joy and cheer.

When she began to tire, she found her way to a tree and rested against it. The sun beamed down on her and she felt so wonderful there. She looked up at the sun and found that it did not hurt her to stare directly at it. She giggled and something began to spill out of her like water. Faces flashed before her eyes.

Mamoru. Chibi Usa. Rei. Minako. Makoto. Ami. Haruka. Michiru. Setsuna. Hotaru. Artemis. Diana. Luna.

Her friends. Her loved ones. Her stars.

They stood over her in pretty clothes and Makoto had a picnic basket in her hand. Rei was telling her to get up. Minako had her hand for her to grab. Ami smiled at her with a book to her chest.

They looked so young.

Usagi told her she wanted to go with them. She said she was hungry and wanted lots and lots of sandwiches.

She said it was time to get up and go.

Serenity agreed.

Distantly, she felt something on her lap. It was Luna. She could hear her voice but she wasn’t sure what she was saying. She wanted to pet her, hug her, tell her how much she loved her. Luna was always there. Luna was her world, too. She didn’t get a chance to tell her…

“Thank you.”

Then Usagi got up and left her. She ran to her friends, nearly knocking them over, and it must have felt so good. Usagi was happy. Serenity felt happy.

Her eyes turned to glass, still on the sun, her smile still on her face. Luna cried for her to wake up and then she screamed for everyone else. That’s how they found and Usagi hoped that they knew she was happy. Don’t cry, okay? She’s happy.


	2. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the coming days after Neo-Queen Serenity’s death, those she left behind had no choice but to carry on without her. For the world’s sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is part two of this super depressing trilogy that only existed at first to make keyofjetwolf cry some more. Now exists again for EVERYONE ELSE TO CRY OVER IT.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy and please remember to leave a comment if you can!

The days presiding Serenity’s death move on agonizingly slow. Inside the palace, it’s as if everything had frozen over. Communication shut down and the staff was locked out. For days the people of the world thought they had come under attack and the capital had been captured. In the fifth day of silence, the palace opens up and the Senshi step out for the press conference with no emotion on their faces. Venus explains in a straightforward voice, completelt toneless, that five days prior, Neo-Queen Serenity had died and that the castle had gone into mourning.

Operations will continue today. The government was not under attack. Everyone is safe.

The questions poured in instantly from all over the globe and through every source of social media. The Queen is dead? Why had it taken five days announce this? What she die of? Are the Senshi liable to die soon too? Where is the King? Where is the Princess? Will Princess Lady Serenity be taking the throne? Will the Senshi retire or still control the government? Is the monarchy weaken by this? When will the funeral be held?

Venus answered none of these questions and turned away from the flashing words and voices. One by one the senshi exited the room and the press conference came to a sudden and official close.

Endymion was beneath himself with grief and no one found it within their right to try and drag him away from Serenity. He had been in the morgue since she had died, kneeling by the slab, his forehead pressed to her hand. At first, the empty room was filled with his weeping pleads for Serenity to return, but now he was silent. No one quite sure if he had accepted his wife’s death or had simply tired out, but they did not find it right to remove him.

Small Lady–who now was the only living Serenity–had locked her self away in the video room. She had closed off the camera feed in there, locked the doors, and blocked out all communication. Her guardians sat outside of the room, waiting for her return, unsure of what exactly she was doing in there for so long. Occasionally, they heard the soft giggle that sounded so much like their princess, but they realized after a while that it was not her but a recording of the late-Queen from her youthful days when she was still Sailor Moon.

The Senshi, meanwhile, did not mourn. They had things to discuss now–things they hadn’t planned for.

Ideally, they wanted to have a private funeral but they realized given that Neo-Queen Serenity was so beloved, they could not afford to do that. They needed a public funeral to show the people the truth, to allow them to mourn her, and to silence any rumors that might follow in the wake of the tragedy. Jupiter was the first to become enraged by the idea–they couldn’t drag Serenity’s body out like she was some kind of piece of art on display! What about Small Lady and Endymion?! Don’t they deserve some time to heal before they’re put in the spotlight again?

She calmed down; of course, she did. She had to. Rage would give away to tears for her and she couldn’t do that right now.

They also ran into the problem of what to do with her corpse afterward. Do they burn it? Put in an urn? Create a special garden to bury her under? Do they put her on the moon? Do they encase her in crystal and leave her out on a slab, pretending she’s asleep?

Each felt more morbid than the last, but then how could this situation not be morbid? They never planned to have an actual body to care for. They always figured if Serenity died, there would be nothing left. They didn’t have to worry about this before.

The conversation carried a heavy burden on all of them and soon Uranus jumped and screamed, “If you’re going to make a spectacle out of this, why don’t you just shoot her into space!” She threw over her chair after that and walked out. Neptune took a minute before she went after her. They, unlike Jupiter, did not return. Mars muttered “Good.” They had enough to deal with and the Inners didn’t need the Outers’ butting heads now.

Eventually, they decided that they would discuss the matter of Serenity’s body after the public funeral, which would be held the next day. They would stream the event live across the world, opening access to all channels. For the first time in years, the palace yard would be open to everyone.

Jupiters had the flowers in the yard switched to lilies, roses, moonflowers, orchids, and white chrysanthemums. The stage they set up used black marble and the black pillars were draped in gray veils. The only thing on the stage besides the senshi and royal family would be the sable where Serenity would lay.

And, oh, did they make her beautiful. They cleaned her up, did her hair in waves, pearls were used as her jewelry, and her dress was white and gold. They had put flowers in her hair and in her clasped hands. They did her makeup light and sweet and kept the smile on her face. When Mars neatly put the gray veil over her body, it almost looked like she was sleeping and she struggled not to touch her or shake her awake.

The funeral was a silent affair. No speeches, no music, no celebrations of her life. There was no way each of them could say what exactly Serenity–what _Usagi_ –had meant to them. It went beyond words and all the time in those thousand years would never be enough to express it. Everyone seemed to be prefer the quiet. People came up to the altar, bowed, placed whatever they had, and then walked down. Some might have touched her hand, but nothing more.

The senshi stood in a line behind the altar with the King and Princess, ever watchful but never truly looking at the late-Queen’s body.

Each of their eyes were glazed over as if in a dreaming state; eyebrows set, lips flat, arms at their side, legs straight, toes forward. Saturn stood closes to the Princess, their hands touching every so often when Lady Serenity’s shoulders would shake and she could not bear to look.

Endymion wore the tuxedo he had not worn since he was a prince. He found it appropriate, he said. “I met her in this for the second time; I’d like to say good bye to her in it as well.”

Perhaps he also wanted that familiarity and the solidity between him and the senshi. Tuxedo Kamen may have never been a warrior like them but he fought by their side for her and with her time again. If they stood in battle armor to wave her off, so did he.

The silence kept on for some time as the funeral went on for, what felt like forever, was only an hour. It took that time for the sorrow to finally engulf one of them. Mercury’s heart-wrenching sob rang clearly through the air like a bell and she held her hand over his mouth to keep the rest in. Her shoulders jumped which each hiccup, her knees coming together, and tears began to drip down her cheeks and off her chin.

Mars looked at her and wanted to grab her and silence her cries, but she didn’t know if it was right to move. To take her eyes off Serenity- _Usagi_ –or to even show concern for another guardian. They had trained themselves to be professional in front of the world. If they showed weakness now, it might do more harm.

Mercury’s cry had a domino effect.

When Venus fell to her knees, Jupiter thought someone had shot her. It was so jarring and unexpected, Venus’ knees hitting the hard ground with a thump. She was trembling all over as she let out a loud, screeching keen. Her hands climbed to the slab and her fingers inched towards Serenity’s hair, trying to grasp but never quite reaching. It was horrific, the sound she was making.

She screamed over and over again, tears pouring down her face, her nose wet, and she bashed her hand against the slab.

It’s too much for her handle. This wasn’t what she was prepared for. She had given up her childhood for her princess! She had spent every second of her life watching around every corner for the attack that she would throw herself in front of for Serenity! No one ever said Venus would never be able to save her!

What kind of joke was this?

She cursed Queen Serenity–the one on the moon, the one who brought them there. How could she not tell anyone about this? Where was she now? Why couldn’t she come down from the moon with her stupid fairy wings and rewrite everything so Serenity lives?!

WHY?

WHY?

WHY?

Venus couldn’t do this!

She held herself against the slab for support and finally doing what they had all refused to do for six days. She grieved, damn it. She stopped caring about the world, the people, all the cameras on her, and she wept for the light in her life that had gone out without rhyme or reason.

Jupiter soon wrapped her hands around Venus’ quaking shoulders and told her she needed to stand up. The woman heaved her and helped her as her legs failed to work at first. Venus gripped Jupiter’s arms tighter, pushing her tear-streaked face into her neck, feeling the taller woman’s tears fall onto her head, and she turned to her friends.

Mars and Mercury held each other and openly cried. Mars, for the first time in centuries, looked near to hysterics. Almost possessively she held Mercury to her side, Mars’ cheek on her forehead, and Mercury still kept her hand at her mouth, swallowing in her pain. Venus and Jupiter went to them in an instant, wrapping their arms around each other in any way they could.

Finally.

They looked to Serenity’s body. The moonlight was on her. It made her glow. They remembered Usagi in that same light–a small teenager with a much too loud laugh and a lack of attention and a heart that could not be contained in that one body–and they remembered how she glowed. How she radiated with life and warmth when she was at her happiness.

They remembered when they found her dead under a tree and she felt that way again, though her skin had long gone cold.

Mercury sniffed, dropping her hand, and she looked to the rest of them. In a small broken voice, she asked, “What do we do now?”

They looked at each other. Looked at Endymion and the Princess. Looked at the Outers and the Quartet.

They looked out into the world and they all thought the same thing.

_“We don’t know.”_


	3. The Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the coming years of Neo-Queen Serenity’s death, the world hoped to heal and move on. Instead, it witnesses the final pieces of her court fading; slowly and one by one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHA! IT’S DONE! 12K WORDS LATER AND THE ENTIRE FINAL PIECE OF THE TRILOGY IS DONE. WOO! 
> 
> Everyone please proceed to thank Jet, who came into my askbox and pretty much challenged. All this? Is her fault--I probably would have taken another month or two to write this but fuck, that nerd really is a glutton for punishment. Honestly, though, I hope I go to Sailor Moon Hell for this one. 
> 
> Please comment on this if you can--especially if it actually managed to hurt you. Trust me; I wanna hear it.

In the case of the remaining few, curiosity never took over enough to figure out what was causing the apparent plague that was spreading between them. There was some theories: one being that similar to Serenity’s death, their powers would also come to suck the life out of their bodies until they could no longer go on. Another was destiny; Serenity was dead thus those part of her story must join her eventually to begin a new life. Her court going on without her was delaying the completion and renewal of her life cycle.

But perhaps it was neither. Perhaps it was a simple case of a broken heart--that as much as they loved their newly crowned Queen, her guardians, the Earth, and all the conundrums of life itself, none of them wanted to live on any longer without her.

Whatever the case, they all fell like exhausted dominoes one by one and each of them made it almost undeniably clear they did not wish to be...’cured’.

Endymion died first. No one could say it was a surprise. The King who lasted a millennium on the throne scarcely made two years without his wife by his side to guide him. His fading began as soon as Serenity II took her role as Queen, his child’s future all but secure now that she had taken her mother’s place. With the Earth’s affairs transferred to his child, Endymion showed little interest to keep going. 

It was perceived by many that he realized his role had expired now that Serenity was gone and his daughter did not need a depressed King Father to distract her rulings. The world was moving on and he, in all his ancient wisdom, knew that nothing in its advances could ever hold a candle to Serenity’s smallest gestures.

The illness, at first, took its time with the King. Mercury took notice first. He was skipping meals and complained he could keep nothing down save for liquid and bread. Day by day, the sure, strong, lean body whisked away with the wind as if it were stealing his skin. The elegantly long hands the Queen once adored to hold against her cheek sunk into a skeleton’s. His cheeks hollowed out and the bangs under his eyes caved in. 

The new Queen was horrified. One parent gone was enough for her, but two? And to watch her beloved father slip away in this way? 

It was cruel. So very cruel. There were days when she could not dare to look at Endymion’s decaying form and rather than walk with him the gardens like she did for so long, Serenity II would run away in a bout of hysterics. Endymion did not comfort her; not because he did not want to, but because he no longer had the strength to chase after his daughter’s retreating form.

Venus was furious with him. Her dislike of the King had been assumed to fade over the years--for Serenity’s sake, then for the kingdoms, and then for the sheer fact that age could cool one’s fevered resentment--Venus did not make any notion that she might still hold any lingering misgivings for him. It was not until he became weak and willingly so that the senshi leader approached him in a rage one day.

He had promised her! On her death bed, Serenity had begged him to stay alive for their daughter. Where was his strength for their new Queen? Where was the resilience the dead one had seen in him when they were young?

What kind of King crumbles the second his wife dies?

Or was that power Serenity believed in all the illusion of the young misguided princess who didn’t know any better when she fell in love with him?

“If you couldn’t be worth something for your wife’s sake, you could have been for your daughter’s! For once, Endymion! Why couldn’t you be strong for ONCE without her?!”

She raised her fist to hit him--break him, shatter him, destroy him for all the moments Serenity and Serenity II cried over him. Venus looked into his dying eyes and realized with some ping of pity that he agreed with her.

Please, he looked upon her with sad defeat, be the one to destroy me.

Venus, in all her unresolved pain, would have happily.

“Minako. That’s enough.”

Mars’ fingers held her wrist like chains, but her voice was careless. Tired. Speaking to her in a tone a defeated school teacher spoke to a rowdy child. Venus hated her for that too--and for using her dead name--but her hand went down.

Endymion managed nothing but his eyes darken in his disappointment. Mars caught it and, like she was trying to get a bad taste out of her mouth, spat her next words out.

“You will not find your death with us, Endymion. You know better.” She looked to Venus, “Carrying on like this disrespects her memory. You know you would have made her cry.”

Venus sneered and tore her arm away from her. “She would have cried over anything! You both made sure of that for years!” And then she was gone. A flash of gold dashing through the green bushes, a trail of hateful tears in her wake.

Endymion and Mars stayed together. The two of them always had an understanding, one that brought about rumors based in two simple dates in the 21st Century as proof. It was more than that; friends looking out for each other, tired and alone with their broken hearts.

Endymion said nothing. Mars let him be, but before she lead him back to his room to rest (he rests all the time now; everyday, alone in his silence, his eyes on the sun and then the moon) she whispered to him.

“I know you’re tired...but if there’s one last thing you could do for, it’s dying with some dignity.”

One might have thought the advice had fallen on deaf ears, but Mars knew he heard it. Endymion was a listener. In the next few days, he showed some strength and even ate some food. It had made Serenity II smile when he tried to follow her down the hall, cane in hand to keep him upright. 

Weak as he was, that regal nature of him returned for a moment.

In the next, he was gone. Three days later, Endymion fainted at his wife’s grave with roses in his hand and never woke from his slumber again. 

The King was dead--the New Silver Millennium’s reign had finally come to a close. 

The Senshi did not weep. Whatever tears they had left, they could not muster for their King. Endymion was their friend, beloved and respected, but his final sleep could not force them out of their mixing emotions. 

Venus was far too gone in her anger to realize how much she had come to care for the man.

Mercury’s role as doctor distanced herself from his growing cold body; to her, the thing in front of her was not Endymion nor Mamoru, but a corpse she was to preserve and dress. 

Jupiter was focusing her everything into carrying Serenity II through her father’s death. Perhaps she was falling back on her own parents’ sudden deaths to do so or maybe it was her natural need to be caretaker. Either way, all her attention went into comforting their new Queen; little could be spared for her old friend.

It had fallen on to Mars to prepare his funeral and then his burial arrangements. If she reacted at all, it was when she was alone with his pampered body, roses entwined on his clasped hand, and in her isolation, she bent down over his head and gave him one last kiss on his hairline. A sign off, a show of pride for what was once a childhood crush and then a friend. 

He died with dignity and that’s all she could have asked of him.

The next few years after passed like a drop of water.

Venus would be next. 

Jupiter would later accuse the blonde haired woman of being angry at the King because she was doing the same thing. Venus did not deny it.

She had her power first. One year longer should have not meant much, but then again, what did it matter? They were all speeding into this together; Venus just had to be the first one. Even in this, she had to ‘win’, didn’t she?

Mercury had come to refer to the sickness as ‘the Fading’ and no one really disagreed with it. After both Serenity’s and Endymion’s deaths, it was obvious that ‘fading’ was exactly what was happening. If anything, Venus’ agonizingly inevitable death confirmed Mercury's theory. 

For her part, Venus was going through the motions with her death. She neither took it with the quiet surrender that Serenity did nor did she let it defeat her like Endymion. Her reaction with it was a thing out of the past.

A bang, she said. She wanted to go out with a bang! Venus (or was it Minako?) wanted to die in luxury, a memory in Earth’s history books printed in gold and dazzled with glitter. 

Her return to social life as the untouchable yet thoroughly unstoppable goddess Venus was a media uproar. Every day, her name was splashed across the headlines, a new boy/girl toy on her arm and her body adorned in the highest quality clothes money could buy. She drank all night, released albums sticky with self-glory and lost love, and laughed like it was the end of the world.

It was almost disgusting how well she let herself be sucked up into this identity. 

Jupiter told her she was an idiot. Nothing about this was doing anyone favors--in fact, she was hurting Serenity II by acting like some hyper active college girl with daddy’s credit card. What are people going to believe about the new Queen if one of the senshi act like this?

It was clear that Venus’ blunt, vapid dismissal of her wrong doing was what pissed Jupiter off more. Yet, the larger woman let the leader go on; right now, she really didn’t want to save Venus from herself.

Mercury was all but begging Venus to calm down. They didn’t know what exactly the Fading even was or how it worked. Drinking and partying all night, plus the constant sex? Venus could be speeding up the process. For all they know, Venus could kill over today or tomorrow. She needed to calm down.

Two months into the Fading, Mercury was desperate to get Venus to listen to her, to the point where she was nearly brought to tears one day when she froze the door to stop Venus from leaving. It was all she could think to do--and for that day, Venus listened to her.

However, the next day she went out and this time there was nothing Mercury could do about it. 

Mars let Venus be. Whether she was washing her hands of the woman’s actions or she just couldn’t find it in her to care, Mars just would not play at Venus’ games. They had always been like that, it seemed. Back in the days before, Rei would follow Usagi through all her ill-begotten ideas in a futile attempt to stop her. Minako, she let be—because she trusted her even in her stupidest moments. 

Rei and Minako were always on the same wave length when distance set them apart.

Now, Mars could not even reach Venus if she tried. There was little effort to drag her back and scold her when Venus would wiggle out of it. She was a woman on a mission and if she wanted to drown herself in vices and sin one last time, well, Mars wasn’t going to stop her. 

It was Artemis who took to her side as expected. Whether perched on the goddess’ shoulder as she chugged another beer or a white haired human with bursting star green eyes hovering over her with a sour expression and razor sharp nails, he was there. Her constant companion in life and in death, the only other half of her soul that was still alive, Artemis was with Venus through her bitter end. But he would not speak against her.

Oh, he disapproved. Artemis’ silence, if nothing else, made it abundantly clear to all that he was not in sync with his charges’ actions in the slightest. However, if anyone knew what an unstoppable force of nature the desperate dying woman before him was, it was Artemis. He would know for certain that there was no way to put an end to her drunken hurricane. The only thing he could do was be by her side and sometimes pull her back when she almost fell too far.

And so it was Venus and Artemis through thick and thin, blazing a trail of endless partying and sex through the city, the leader’s obnoxiously loud laugh an echo through the crystal halls. 

Venus danced when she could not move and swallowed booze when she could not eat. 

Impossible.

Unstoppable.

Alive.

Then one day, Venus could not move from her bed. Sprawled out under silk sheets and plush pillows, she laid as if frozen, loosened limbs clawed into the spread. Her head was on its side, crystal blue eyes darting which way and that, and she knew what was coming.

Death was holding her captive, taking her body when it could not take her mind. She sighed and peered up at Artemis. The cat was standing on the bed rim rod straight--like a statue made of glass and paint--and he pushed her hair out of her face.

“I think it’s the end.”

“I know. You’re tired?”

“No. Never. I can’t move, that’s all.”

“Should I call...?”

“No. No. I don’t wanna...” Venus shut her eyes and knitted her brows together. “I want to be alone in this.”

Like she always was.

Artemis’ paw pressed to her cheek, tangled in her golden hair. “If you’re alone, what the hell am I?” 

“You’re me. You always were.”

Venus felt the soft graze of sharpen claws over her skin which were then replaced by the pat of plush fur. Artemis butted his head into her neck, rubbing her jaw line over his back, and she could feel his head caught in her hair.

Wet.

“I’m sorry.”

Trails of wetness glided down her skin as Artemis buried himself into her--as if he was trying to be part of her.

Her eyes flickered open.

“I’m...s-so sorry...I did this to you.” He was sobbing into her and Venus smiled. Her right hand struggled to lift and it bent like a rusted joint when it came to touch his small body. Her fingers carded through his fur, spreading over the arch of his neck and between his ears. She nuzzled into him, mouth pressed in a kiss to the side of him.

“My kitty, my precious pretty kitty. Thank you.” He stilled and she grinned. “You gave me everything.”

Love flashed before her eyes in a spiral of gold and lace. There the world laid before her in the hands, feet, eyes, and mouths of friends. How could there be a day she existed without any of them? Without her?

All those far away wishes to be a normal girl, a peaceful adult, a growing old woman who looked back on her memories with strained nostalgia. It felt so ridiculous to wish for empty things--hollowed out desires she never truly wanted because they existed without...

Without Rei.

Without Makoto.

Without Ami.

Without Usagi.

Without.

Minako sunk her fingers deeper into Artemis’ fur and fought to hold on harder. 

“Hey, Artemis. Do you...think we’ll see each other again? Next time?” He felt old in her arms. Less like a living creature and more like a ragged plush toy thrown into the wash far too many times. Under her palm, his breathing expended his body worryingly slowly and had she been of a well mind, she might have wondered why that was.

“We’ll always be together. We’re us. We exist together.”

“Together. You and me.” She whispered and smiled.

“Me and you.”

“The perfect team.”

Artemis’ body stopped moving and she wanted to care so much, but Minako could not think to do so. Her eyes were caught in a fog, seeing far out beyond her room wall. Everything was warm and smelled sweet, as if she was coming out of a lake on a summer’s day. She saw green leaves and sun light kissing the ground. 

She saw Mamoru with his pure black hair and ocean blue eyes and a smile that promised humor and relief--and she felt an old surge in her to break his calmness and make him crazy.

And there next to him, she saw golden hair in waves and a pink lacey dress and ribbons and a basket full of cakes and fruit.

She saw the smile.

“Minako!”

“Usagi!” She reached out towards the two forms and could feel herself cry. She shook Artemis. They had to move. She was leaving. They were going back. She was going back to her Usagi.

“Let’s go play on the swings, Minako!” Usagi grabbed her hand, pulling her out of what felt like a dream, and when Minako tripped, she could hear Artemis laughing into her ear.

“Let’s go, Minako.” He said. Minako nodded, squeezing Usagi’s hand, and together they all walked off.

“Yeah. Let’s.”

The bodies were snuggled close underneath the blanket. The picture of innocence, they looked like a young girl and her cat taking a nap after a long day at school. It was a perfect memory of a past officially dead.

The scene made Mercury screech and fall into hysterics. Oh, she tried to revive them both desperately. It was her job to keep them alive as long as she could and she was not ready for them to die yet. So, she tried. She bashed on Venus’ chest with strength no one knew she had and absolutely destroyed her ribs. 

"Please! Please! No! Not yet! Please, not yet!”

“Mercury--AMI! STOP!”

Jupiter had to hurl her off the corpse, one hand wrapped around her two lithe wrists, the other arm caught against her waist. Jupiter pinned the smaller body against her, whispering to her that she needed to calm down--it’s too late.

It’s far too late.

Mercury was past words, however, and just continued to weep and whine, offering pleas and bargains to Jupiter as if she were the god of death holding Venus’ soul hostage.

And Jupiter wished she was. She peered at Venus’ and Artemis’ bodies, still twisted up in the sheets, and she almost hated how they both looked so content and...happy. Venus was smiling.

It felt so selfish. How could she be happy? There she was, leaving another hole in their world, taking a piece of them all when she ran off to die, and she had the nerve to smile.

Mercury could not be calmed and so Jupiter had no choice; she held her weeping friend the way wished she could have held Venus one last time and hoped maybe this one wouldn’t slip away too soon too.

And Mars?

Mars walked in, her heart jammed itself into her throat, and she ran out with tears in her eyes, a scream on her tongue, and a refusal to believe this was really happening again.

Mercury’s death was the fastest. It did not take her more than a week to fall to the symptoms. Mars suspected that she may have been sicker for longer and hid it from them, but she choose to keep that little suspicion between her and Jupiter. They had spent far too much time being angry with each other over the Fading--four people later and maybe it was time to let that anger go.

It was better for Mercury...for...for Ami if they tried to be a little more accommodating this time around.

She took to bed after the first collapse. The fainting spell hadn’t been more than her legs giving way and luckily Ceres had been there to catch her before she hit the ground. Still, it wasn’t something she was willing to fight. Unlike Venus, Mercury took her death sentence with some grace and decided to bow out before it forced her.

Research on the Fading came to a standstill now that the sole leader of the project was bedridden. Mercury had to, instead, prepare her notes to be transferred to Saturn--a tedious task to be sure seeing as Mercury still took notes by hand and had to transfer them to digital format. In her final days, she worked herself to the bone, snuggled between plush sheets and cups of lavender tea, eyes lined by black and purple.

Insomnia was Mercury’s plague and it was taking her faster with each passing minute.

Jupiter dropped medication into her food and drinks, but neither worked. Her sleeplessness--caused by her own stubbornness or fear--was too powerful for the pills she created years ago. She waved off Mars’ suggestion at more natural solutions. Why waste her flitting time resting away? Already she was losing what precious minutes she had by being stuck in bed; sleep was only a hindrance at this point.

She was content where she was. Jupiter and Mars would have to accept that for what it was, bitter as that truth made them feel.

It was not just Mercury whose death was fast approaching. Luna had put on a brave front over the last few years. Serenity’s death had taken something from her to be sure and whatever willpower she might have had in her youth had been stolen away by the Queen departure. She kept on for Small Lady’s sake, just as Endymion had, guiding her in her mother’s steps and giving Diana a few more lessons on how to care for a Queen.

For a while, the Senshi had assumed (even wished) that Luna would out live them all. Strong and steady, the feline would not weaver in honor of her former charger’s memory.

Artemis’ death was a shocking blow and it took what was left of Luna’s resolve. No, it didn’t do just that.

His death destroyed her. Whatever parts of her wasn’t thrown into oblivion with Serenity, they were now obliterated by Artemis’ departure. A lover he was, sure, but he was much more than that. He was a friend; a partner; the only other person who understood her plights and misgivings. A painter of her memories--where she forgot, he remembered and where he stumbled, she stood and dragged him up.

Never did she think there would be a day she would not exist without him.

It was all she could take. Luna limped and had to force her legs to work without rust. Her brilliantly shined black fur lost its luster, the golden moon on her head turned white. She shriveled up, starved for the partner she lost, and would spend more days than not on Mercury's lap, staring listlessly into the beyond. 

Mars and Jupiter came to both sickly beings every day. Work within the government was all being headed by Vesta and Ceres, military units commanded by Juno and Pallas, and Saturn had taken over all the information outlets. Day by day, it was becoming clear the two of them were becoming ancient relics peeling into dust. Without Venus--and soon without Mercury--they would be useless.

An indignity that either of them felt was more of a humiliation than death, but Mercury reminded them this was for the best. The new court needed to establish themselves as a power that could withstand on their own. 

“I think they’re ready.” She smiled proudly to the two guardians, her voice barely a whisper. “They’re going to be better than all of us. I believe in them.”

Jupiter offered her a smile, a glow which would have blinded them all if she was fourteen and sure of the future again. “Yeah. They’ll do great. They’re all great kids.” She said, then turned, faking a cough to cover the choking in her words and the beginnings of tears in her eyes.

Mars wished Mercury wouldn’t be so reasonable about certain things--she wanted to have some grudges to hold to--but she wasn’t exactly going to fight her on this. Let the dying woman have what she wants; Mars had more time left than her to be angry, after all, but Mercury barely had enough to be content.

Yet she was. Perhaps she was more content—even happy—than she had been in years. The last centuries or so had been filled with nothing to her. The same languid existence, bypassing time and watching others live full lives and die in a few blinks. Not to say those years weren’t used wisely; Mercury had cured so many diseased, discovered so many more planets than they ever believed were possible, watching layers of ocean believed to be untouchable be witnessed by human eyes. She had reached out and shook the head of species from parts in the universe no one could even fathom when she was young.

Mercury was the world’s leading genius—a title she wore with pride since she was so very young—and yet for a time, that title was nothing to her. Another name to be called while she worked day in and day out, but never lived much for herself.

When she was young, that’s what she wanted to do. Live through science, breathe through discovery, help and love and care and learn. For the most part, that’s what she did, but she forgot to feel often enough. Mercury was a machine producing work every day. Now that she thinks back, hand carded through Luna’s matted fur as she rests in her bed, Mercury thinks about how much Ami would have come to hate herself.

What, after all, was the point of learning if you did not live with the new knowledge and felt life at all its turns?

So, Mercury thought back on her last few hundred years with some level of regret, but otherwise satisfaction when her eyes would wonder to Makoto on her right and Rei on her left. Luna purred weakly under her hand, barely holding by a thread.

She smiled to herself, closed her eyes, and rested for a while longer. Her brain kept on working; sometimes she would dream of twins with blonde and blue eyes begging her to hurry up, stop studying, and come play with them.

A week into being bedridden, Mercury woke up and felt as if her bones were brittle, that if she moved, she would be broken apart. There was no pain in this, mind you. Only feebleness. There was a weight on her head, yanking her down to what she felt was an abyss, telling her to dissolve under the heaviness. She groaned at it, resistant to fall apart just because her body told her to, and put her hand down on her lap.

She felt fur but it was cold. Icey.

Luna.

Luna was cold.

Mercury’s eyes shot open. “Luna?” She meant to shout, but her voice came out as barely a whisper—fragile as the rest of her body. She worked her fingers through the black cat’s fur and rested her hand at the base of her skull. “Luna!” She was more forceful this time, shaking the cat while her heart’s beat threatened to break her rib cage.

Luna did not say anything at first and Mercury thought, with tears erupting from her eyes, that she was dead and they hadn’t said goodbye yet—but then came a groan followed by the small body shaking as it moved. Luna turned her head up, red eyes dimmed, and whined at her.

“I’m here…” She muttered, tail limply flopped down on Mercury’s lap. Heart brokenly, the water senshi realized the cat was trying to sit up, but every time she tried, her body rattled and fell. Sniffing, Mercury gathered Luna in her arms and gently held her under her chin.

“Please, don’t work so hard. It’s okay now. You can rest.”

Luna mewled pitifully. “I…wasn’t there, Ami. I wasn’t there for her. I should have stayed with her…”

“No. No, you were always there, Luna. For me. For her. For everyone. You were always where we needed you to be.”

“I failed…I’m failing…I don’t want to leave you. I shouldn’t leave you. You…need me.”

Ami choked. Tears had fallen down her cheeks, drowning her mouth, and she was so tired, so very tied with this world. Everything was cold, but comfortable. Her fingers felt numb. She couldn’t feel her legs. She couldn’t feel Luna deflating in her arms, beginning to leave her. “Oh, Luna. I don’t…we don’t need you anymore.” She sobbed, heavy and hard. “You did a wonderful job. You can sleep now. We can…we’ll handle it from here.”

There was ice in her lungs. Her body felt strong, yet delicate, like the strange hardiness of frost over water. Her limbs transparent, rigid, and hard. Was it her imagination—or her grief—which was turning her entire being to ice? How long until death came with its demanding hands to shatter her physically and drag her soul away?

Luna wasn’t there any more, was she?

“Luna?” She shouted and her voice shattered her. “Luna, wait!” With what little strength she had, Mercury picked Luna up and shook her with all her might. “Luna, please! I haven’t thanked you! I haven’t told you how much I love you! How much we loved you! Please, come back! Please?”

Luna would not stir again, her eyes closed and the moon on her head no longer glowing.

Mercury knew death. As a doctor, she had witnessed so many die. As a warrior, she had been the one to swing death’s scythe and take those lives. For so long, death had been a companion to her—not always an enemy and not always a friend—but one she let linger over her as she healed and protected. As she stared at Luna (Luna, Luna, kitty cat from the heaven; the angel that dropped on her head), she wished that she had no idea what death looked like.

She would trade all her knowledge in this moment for blissful ignorance—just as she would have for Mamoru, for Venus, for Artemis, and for Serenity.

Embracing the corpse, Mercury sat back against her pillow and gently rocked Luna.

Out of her mouth, she could feel something slipping. Water. Flowing out of a hole at the bottom of a vase. That’s what it felt like.

Emptying.

Freeing.

Mercury felt like a rag doll when her bedroom doors opened and Jupiter and Mars ran in. Both were on her, touching her shoulders, her hair, and her face. Mars took her cheeks and tried to get her tp look at her. Mercury could only see through her.

Jupiter cradled her body in her strong arms and instinctively she placed her head on the woman’s chest. They were saying something but to Mercury, all their words were dull, their voices far and uninteresting.

She tried to speak.

“I think…I think Luna. I think she’s…”

If her voice worked, she didn’t know. She gasped, her head rolling back like it was ready to fall right off her shoulders. She knew Jupiter was crying and Mars was shouting at her, but she couldn’t will herself to care. Everything was hazy. What was feeling? She couldn’t tell.

Something on her chest stirred. Ami looked down and saw Luna picking her head up, her tail moving animated back and forth, and she mewed at her. “Oh. Oh, look! Rei, Makoto! She’s alright! Luna’s okay!” Ami exclaimed, her face breaking into a wide smile.

It was a miracle!

Luna smiled back at her and brushed her head against the bottom of Ami’s chin. She jumped out of her arms and dropped off the bed, “Oh--! Luna!” Ami called after her and without thinking, she pushed herself out of Jupiter’s arms and followed the feline. “Wait, where are you going?”

She didn’t answer. Luna simply ran off through the open doors without looking back at either her, Mars or Jupiter. Ami stood up and walked to the door. She hesitated touching the doorknob, wondering if she should stop and look back. Jupiter and Mars. She couldn’t just…go.

Could she?

On the other side of the door, she heard laughter. High pitched and sweet as bubble candy, a cry of joy that made Ami’s heart flip. It made her move. She opened the door a little wider, then licked her lips and hesitated again.

Rei.

Makoto.

She should—

“Ami. They don’t need you either anymore. It’s okay.” A hand touched her own just before she could turn back. It held her lovingly, nudging her until she let go of the knob, and then entwined its fingers with her own. When she looked up, Minako greeted her with a smile bursting with affection. “You can take a break now.”

Ami felt like she could cry. Moreover, she felt so much joy in this instant that she was sure she would explode. “Minako…I…”

The blonde tsked and brought a finger up to stop her. “Ah-ah-ah! Come on! We got things to do and you’re going to make us late! You’ve worked hard enough, you know?” She winked and tugged Ami’s hand. “Studying all the time is going to make you boring, Ami—and give you wrinkles!”

Ami laughed. Her heart was about to pop and all she wanted to do was laugh. Laugh and turn around, but Minako wouldn’t let her. When she tried a second time, the blonde grabbed her other hand and brought her forward. She stared at Minako confused, worry slowly taking her smile away.

“But. What about Rei and Makoto? What about Small Lady—I can’t—

“Ami. You can’t always be there. You have to let go.” Minako squeezed Ami’s fingers until it hurt, “It’s okay. Do you get me? It’s. O-kay.”

Ami wanted to disagree with her. She wanted to go back and finished what she started—whatever started was—she wanted to be there for Rei and Makoto.

But then she heard the crush of water against the shore. In the distance, seagulls flew high and cried at each other. The smell of sand and salt water wrapped her up and blew through her hair. Ami could feel the light of the sun beating down her, welcoming her back to the ocean she hadn’t been able to visit in years.

And there, in the distance, with Luna wrapped around her shoulders, Ami could see her coming towards her.

“Ammmmiiiiii! Come ooooon!”

Usagi.

Ami shut the door behind her and, hand-in-hand with a grinning Minako, ran off towards home.

Rei and Makoto. They would be fine. She was sure of it.

Right now, however, they wouldn’t be—for all they had left was Ami’s freezing cold corpse and no amount of tears would bring her back. Together, the last two remaining senshi huddled tight on the bed and rocketed together, connected by their pain.

“I will say this once and only once.” Sailor Vesta’s raucous voice boomed from the speakers in the press room, commanding attention when her fierce burning ember eyes did not. “The current state of the late-Neo Queen Serenity’s remaining senshi is a private matter and one we will not publically discuss. Out of respect for the years of duty these women have given us, we ask that the world let them have their privacy.”

The world screamed for answers. Only two of the former Queen’s senshi remained alive. It had been a month since Sailor Mercury’s death; her funeral, like Sailor Venus, had been held quietly and with severe haste—so much so that some thought the new Queen did not care for her mother’s guardians and wanted them gone as soon as possible. This, of course, was not true. The funerals were conducted by Jupiter and Mars themselves and they were treated as a family affair. Unlike Neo-Queen Serenity and King Endymion, Mercury and Venus had the luxury to not be treated as a public circus and could be laid to rest in peace (even as Jupiter and Mars recalled with wretched amusement how Venus demanded to be buried while boy bands sang her praise and a video played all her greatest moments and also fireworks should be going off—gold fireworks shaped like her face!).

Serenity II was beside herself with grief. In such a short time, she had lost her parents and now her aunts. The familiarity of her childhood was being stripped away from her day by day. She, of course, tried to handle it with a smile when she visited Mars and Jupiter but the two guardians knew her better than most. Always, they could see the agony behind the grin, the wonder of which one will leave her next when her eyes passed over them. Jupiter would try to comfort her, but every hug she gave Serenity II ended in the Queen fleeing the room in tears.

She thought she could do this again. Neither guardian could blame her for falling apart when she was losing so much. All they wished was that they weren’t the reason their little princess was in constant torment.

As for how they were spending the time now that they were begrudgingly relieved of duty, Mars and Jupiter had made a rather morbid decision together. That was that they were to put together a burial garden for their friends.

It was the least they could try. Jupiter had come up with it just after Mercury’s death. Up until then, the corpses of their friends had been laid out in a crystal room on white slabs, positioned as though they were sleeping. It was all they could think to do with them; every conversation about what to inevitably do with the bodies was again and again met with fighting.

No one wanted to decide on what ‘final resting place’ should mean in a world defined by longevity.

“I think it would be nice if it was a garden, you know? Flowers always made them happy. We could…I dunno, put them in coffins and put them under a statue? We don’t need to bury them, right?” Jupiter suggested as she stirred her tea, scratching the back of her neck. She was nervous; afraid Mars would say no.

Like she would could ever.

“No, we don’t.” Mars answered. Her hands rotated the hot tea cup, having no taste of the liquid at the moment. "It sounds like a great idea.” She peeked up to see Jupiter giving her an uneasy stare and quickly added in “Really. Do it.”

She didn’t think it was important to add in that flowers were the thing that made Jupiter the happiest. She wouldn’t mention that she knew Jupiter was only doing it to give her and Mars something to do. She wouldn’t say that, like Mercury, Jupiter needed to keep working in order to keep going.

Mars kept her mouth shut and Jupiter went to work.

The plan was for the garden to be created in its own area of the palace and not in the main garden. It felt unfair to Serenity II to put her parent’s grave out on display, as if the shadow of their deaths would loom over her own reign and life. Putting the graves out would only remind people of another Queen, never to let the new one grow into her own. Serenity II didn’t see the problem, still so effected by the deaths that she was fine with letting her parents take center place in her view—but Mars and Jupiter wouldn’t have it and so the burial garden was built behind the palace.

The spot they choose was silent, shadows of the sun over the castle casting a cooling shade over where the statues were planned. The light of moon touched it better, filling the spot with a gentle glow that, when Jupiter looked at it one night, she thought saw a twin trail of silvery hair dancing in the breeze.

That might have been a dream, but she liked to think maybe Serenity was leading her to that spot.

Serenity’s statue was placed in the center of the garden. Large and transparent, it depicted the Queen holding a halo of white roses at her head, her arms and hair laced with pearls. She stood serenely with her head inclined towards the palace, her eyes shut to the world but her smile wistful. The base of the statue, where the folds of her marble dress would overflow, kept the queen’s silver and gold coffin locked away.

Across from her was the King’s memorial. His statue was smaller but still the presence he set was undeniable. Clad in his lavender tuxedo, he stood with his right hand extending towards Serenity. Out of it flowed a bush of roses and vines which hugged his stone wrist. Though his eyes were hidden by the mask, it was clear that the King only had eyes for his queen.

The senshi’s graves were plotted by Serenity’s side: two on her right and two on her left. Venus’ stood to her right—the place she was promised as leader—and her eyes were cast up at Serenity. In her left hand was a crystal sword tied with her golden chain. Her right hand was placed over her heart, as if pledging herself to Serenity for all eternity.

Next to Venus was Mercury. She stood as reserved as she had been in life. With her eyes closed to the world, Mercury clasped her hands over her heart in what looked like a prayer, her legs closed and her ankles together. Unlike Venus, whose grave reminded all of the duty she held fast to in life, Mercury’s statue recalled a calm sweet woman whose power was not in her strength, but in her patient spirit to keep fighting.

The graves on Serenity’s left were empty—and no one would comment on when those two would be filled. Jupiter had plans for them. They were written on paper, locked away in her room for when it was time.

Mars watched for weeks as Jupiter did most of the work herself. She had servants help her of course, but it was Jupiter that planted the trees and decided if a fountain would be wise. It was she who got on her hands and knees to fill the spaces with red roses, lilies, morning glories, irises, sunflowers, violets, tulips, casablancas, and chrysanthemums. Jupiter, who was working so damn hard. Using every ounce of her seemingly endless strength to forget, to push forward, and to smile with her dirty hands in an attempt to be okay.

It was so easy to work until the brink of exhaustion for her. Jupiter had always been strong. Better yet, she always found harmony in nature. From here, she would be safe to nurture life and watch it grow into something beautiful.

While she dug holes and filled them with seeds, she could focus on something that wasn’t the statues of dead friends observing her from beyond. She could act as if they were alive, somewhere off in the castle with Mars, and if she went inside of lunch, they would all greet her.

Here, in the garden, she was safer than if she was in the halls of the castle where the spirits of her loved ones haunted her. Where she couldn’t walk down familiar paths, reminded of a childhood where, on the first night after her parents’ deaths, little Makoto wandered the halls wondering when her parents would come and take her back to bed.

Now, she was Jupiter and there were nights when she woke up and walked around in the moonlight, hoping Mercury or Venus or Serenity would find her and keep her company. It made her heart ache when Mars would come to her instead and she would wonder how long they had before she lost her, too.

Mars would muse later if that was the reason why Jupiter let the fading take her first—because Rei could always handle being alone better than Makoto.

When Jupiter succumbed to the Fading, Mars had been there to catch her before she hit the dirt. It was Mars how also put the large woman to bed and set about completing her work in the garden. The final standing guardian went about preparing for what was coming, every day greeting Jupiter with a varying layer of grumpiness. Over what, Jupiter wasn’t sure, but the pout Mars sometimes come to her with when she walked into her bed room, arms caked in soil from doing all her unfinished projects, had her laughing again like they were teenagers.

Mars took Jupiter’s sickness with some degree of betrayal. How dare the fates come along and take another friend from her—and how dare Jupiter of all people fall sick before Mars.

Jupiter was strong.

Jupiter was unstoppable.

Jupiter should have out lived them all, if there was anyone who should have lived.

Yet, there she was, growing more exhausted by the day, staying in bed, and watching the clouds go by. It was kind of annoying how Jupiter did so. As Mars refused to accept her incoming death, Jupiter had entered into a clarity with it.

Like her and death had come to terms, were now baking cookies together, and Death would come tomorrow at 5pm to pick her up.

It was annoying, not because when Mars raged about how happy she looked, Jupiter had the nerve to smile—but that when she did it, she reminded Rei too much of her mother.

It wasn’t as if they were the same—Jupiter had retained a healthy glow and color, her body still seemingly the same indomitable temple it had been since the day they met. Rei’s mother, on the other hand, had become barely a ghost of the woman she once was—all bones, and paper skin, and delicate hair which fell out when she moved. The women were nothing alike.

Yet they smiled the same.

They accepted their fate with amused expectance in the same irritating way.

They had the nerve to tell Mars that it would be alright soon and Mars—no matter if she was a four year old child or a thousand year old war goddess—responded to them both with stubborn wrath and a temptation to hurt something, anything, in order to dull the throbbing agony in her heart.

Mars wished she could hate Jupiter for that, but she could never. She loved her too much.

Eventually in going through the motions, Mars came to the bargaining stage of her anguish. One day while pacing back and forth in front of Jupiter’s window, Mars suddenly came to a stop. “This isn’t what we think it is.”

Jupiter looked up from her knitting, startled and slightly confused. “Um, what?”

“The Fading! It’s not—it’s not what we think it is. It can’t be.” Mars exclaimed, tossing her hand out, “Killing the senshi one by one like this—and in the order it’s being done? Clearly there’s something behind it. We just have to figure out what.”

Mars stared at her with wide determined eyes. She wanted Jupiter to agree with her. She wanted the youthful young woman who would make a fist and punch her hand while she shouted ‘Hell yeah! Let’s do this!’

She wanted force. She wanted action. She wanted anything but this.

Jupiter, however, only gave her a small smile and stared at her with tired affection and love. “Rei—“

“Don’t!” She tossed up her hand, “Don’t call me that! Don’t say it’s not what I think! Everyone dying like this is—not right! Not at all! It has to be something, Jupiter! It has to be.” Mars’ voice tightened when she spoke the last sentence, pleading with Jupiter to let her believe what she wants. Let this thing be something she can fight and save her from. “Why can’t it be?”

Jupiter inhaled through her nose and said, “I’m sorry I’m leaving you, Rei.”

The air went out of the room and with it, Mars’ willfulness was knocked out of her. Jupiter could not bear to watch Mars crack around her edges as her eyes welled up with tears. “Why?” She asked, quietly at first. Then, tearing at her beautiful black hair, she began to screaming, “Why?! Why?! Why?! WHY?!”

There was nothing either of them could do, but Jupiter opened her arms anyway and Rei ran in and cried against her dying friend’s chest until sleep overwhelmed them both.

It was raining outside when Jupiter woke up next. The storm rattled against her window, thunder and lightning rampant through the sky as the rain fell down sharp and fast like the motion of a dagger. It roused her gently out of a dream’s fog and Jupiter welcomed the chaotic change of weather like an old friend from far away.

She rose up from the pillow and noticed happily that Mars did not wake up when she moved. Good, she thought, she probably hadn’t slept in days. Yanking the blanket off herself, Jupiter covered Mars with it and gently pushed her hair out of her face. Restless, the guardian got up from her bed and went to one of her windows.

The smell of rain and waterlogged flowers relaxed her. Leaning against the glass, Makoto watched the rain fall drop by drop, her eyes flickering with excitement when she heard lightning crash overhead. For the first time in a long time, Makoto felt content enough to not want to do anything but let the rain wash over her.

But then she remembered.

What. She does not know. There was something important, she knew. Something very important about the garden—and the rain! Could the garden withstand a flood? Did the workers and Mars prepared for something like this? What if the flowers couldn’t and they were all washed away?

What if the statues weren’t braced enough and all came crashing down from the storm’s force?

Oh, she needed to go and fix this! She had to protect the garden!

Without think of putting on a jacket or even shoes, Jupiter ran out of her room in nothing but her night gown. Down the winding halls she went, not caring if she passed by anyone (nor did she care that she didn’t see anyone either). She ran as fast as her feet could take her until she came to the garden’s doors. She yanked them both open and ran out into the rain, her feet plunging into thick mud.

The garden was fine. In fact, it seemed to be in its element with the rain—the statues shining from the water and light, flowers tangled at the bases where her friends laid for all eternity.

Makoto stood in awe, chest heaving, while the rain made her hair and her thin night gown cling to her. She should have been cold or even worried that she might worsen her sickness should she stay out here, but she didn’t find it in herself to care.

She barely noticed when the rain stopped drumming into her and a blue umbrella floated above her head.

“It’s beautiful, Makoto.”

Makoto turned and there was Ami—smiling, her precious blue eyes filled with fondness. The taller woman could only stare dumbly between her and the statues. She could not believe either were there.

“I…” She started, her mouth dry, “I don’t think it’s done.”

Ami hummed, stepping closer. She reached up to pulled a wet strand of brown hair behind Makoto’s ear. “You’re right. It’s not. That’s okay, I think. It doesn’t have to be done for you to be.”

Makoto blinked at her and Ami offered her a patience shrug, “You were waiting for us to come and get you anyway, right? I think you know you can walk away from this for now. No one’s going to blame you.”

A dull laugh escaped Makoto’s mouth before she could stop it, “Rei will.”

“No, she won’t.” A hand clapped down on Makoto’s shoulders and there Minako was, grinning from ear to ear. “She’ll never shut up about it but she won’t blame you. She’s too soft for that.”

“Rei knows you were going to go away. I think, knowing her, she’ll be happy that you came to us when you were ready.”

Makoto paused between the two girls, searching their faces, and then looked back at the castle. “But she shouldn’t be alone.” She said sadly.

Rei doesn’t deserve that—she’ll fall apart without at least one of them there to hold her together.

“Rei’s stronger than you think, Mako. Don’t worry! She won’t be alone for long. She’ll get too grumpy and come running back to us!” A voice chirped in. Makoto’s heart leapt right into her throat when she heard it. At first, she didn’t want to look—to believe what she was hearing

Slowly, she looked up and right in front of her was the same ol’cheerful Usagi. Mamoru was at her side, holding an umbrella over their heads, carefully shielding the blonde from the rain. The two of them were there, with her, and with Ami and Minako.

Her family was almost back together.

Biting her lip, Makoto could feel Minako wrap her arm around her torso while Ami’s hand wormed its way into hers. She sobbed and could barely keep it together when she heard Usagi say, “I missed you so much, Mako!”

She rushed forward and hugged Usagi—and she never wanted to let go again.

When Rei woke up later, the sun was shining high in the sky and Makoto never opened her eyes again.

Thus, Mars was the last of the inner court alive.

It was she who prepared Jupiter’s funerals and who set up work on her statue—fists raised, hips cocked, and brash smirk on her marble face as if daring the world to fight her one last time. The plan had been to set her up on Serenity’s left side but Mars had discovered that Jupiter instead put her grave on the far end—in its place, the grave by Serenity’s left was marked for herself.

It left an ugly taste in in her mouth when Mars peered up Jupiter’s statue, her friend long encased in pink and green underneath its base, knowing that she had decided where Mars’ final resting place would be without asking her first. It was rude, for one, and for another it burned her that Jupiter thought she was so important that she had to end up at Serenity’s side at the end.

It was perfect, of course, because where else would Mars would want to be placed; but it vexed her all the same.

The Outers had finally decided to show up when Jupiter was officially put to rest. Where they were hiding, she didn’t know, but Mars didn’t care much for seeing them. Pluto, Uranus, and Neptune were always frequenting their own orbit; she wouldn’t stand by and let them come to her at their own damn convenience.

It never occurred to her that perhaps they were avoiding them out of fear that they might catch the Fading (if it was contagious to begin with) or that they couldn’t bear witnessing the one by one falling of comrades, however they felt about each other.

So when Neptune came to her side in the garden and tried to speak to her, Mars ignored her. Instantly, she could see the fury of waves in the sea warrior’s eyes—the tension of a woman who was not often rejected and whose comforts was rare—but Mars did not care. She met Neptune’s creeping anger with her own smoldering fire, her breath so hot smoke might’ve flowed out of her mouth.

No. She quieted herself. She would not fight on her friend’s graves. She would not take her aggressions out on the few soldiers still standing. Mars shut her eyes and walked away from Neptune; she did not look back.

Uranus, at least, had the decency to leave her be. Not to try to offer up condolences, no matter how sincere (and from Uranus, they always were), where she knew they neither mattered nor were wanted.

She bowed her head as Mars passed, apologizes dying stubbornly on her tongue, and she looked at the graves, at Neptune, and then at Serenity’s statue.

Never would they say why they stayed away. Never would they mention that as the inners’ died, they clung harder to each other. Neither would they say that they knew their time was coming soon and should they die, they wanted to die as they came—together, in each other’s arms, some place where the wind collided with the sea.

Never were they cowards, never were they heartless—but painfully human. Mars might’ve hated them more for that.

Pluto waited at the end of the hall for her. Her eyes watched the Queen and Saturn from another room, watching their movements and memorizing the way the two steeled each other against another death—holding fast to each other’s hands in case they, too, faded away.

Mars joined Pluto for only a minute to watch the two—but when Saturn and Serenity II stopped being themselves and reminded Mars, instead, of the younger years when she stood by Serenity’s side a little too closely, she decided she had seen enough.

Her heart arched feebly in her chest and she turned.

“Did you know this would happen?” Mars asked.

Pluto gripped her staff firmly, then loosened up. “I know about many things. It’s the order in which they fall which surprises me.”

“Ah.”

That was enough for Mars. She left, and like Uranus and Neptune, Pluto did not stop her.

Thus, Mars was truly alone. When she was young, she thought she knew loneliness but that was different. Children are lonely when they lose one parent and are discarded by another. Back then, her little body could do nothing but seethe in order to process the pain; anger was an easier emotion to deal with than sorrow and for her it was entirely natural.

Yet, she was not alone. She had her grandfather. The days she passed by other children who peered at her, whispering about her strangeness and the way she seemed to hate everything she saw, almost didn’t hurt when she went home and she was greeted by the laughter of a man who did his best to raise her.

When she lost him, she thought she was lonely. Yet, there was her new family—Makoto, Minako, Ami, Usagi, and even Mamoru. They held her hand through the dragging days. They offered to put away his things when she didn’t have the will to do it herself. They offered to stay with her, put their lives on hold, so that she would be able to one day move forward and not feel longing, engulfing grief of knowing that she will never see her Grandfather again.

Mars was lonely, yes, and heartbroken, but she was never alone.

Now she was alone.

She was forced to navigate the world without her family by her side. For a thousand years, Mars had only known the comfort of turning in any direction and knowing someone she loved would be there.

Even a day into this new life was too much for her to bear.

Sometimes, in her more pathetic moments, she wondered what sin she had committed to deserve this sick joke. She must have done something. You don’t end up alone because you don’t deserve it. You end up alone because no one wants you anymore.

Then she would realize what a stupid thing she was thinking and inwardly scold herself. What kind of self-pitying bullshit was that? God, even Mamoru wouldn’t have sunk that low.

Get a hold of yourself, Mars.

A little voice would sometimes ask why she bothered to—there was no one to take care of now. Serenity didn’t need her to be strong, Mercury didn’t need her to be a source of reason, Jupiter didn’t look to her for a command, Venus didn’t relay on her to have her back any more.

She was alone. Useless—a remnant that should have died years ago.

Mars would answer that voice with only “For myself.” It was becoming harder for her to say that with confidence as the days pushed on it.

If and when Mars was effected by the Fading was unsaid. She kept the illness to herself, as she had done with so many things before. Her movement never gave way to exhaustion and she ate when she was supposed to. If Mars had ever fainted, she made sure to do it in the privacy of her rooms where no one could see.

Thus, everyone assumed for the most part that Mars was healthy. Maybe somehow, through sheer force of will, the Fading didn’t affect her. It wouldn’t be a surprise: if anyone could take down such a thing, it would be the indomitable soul of Sailor Mars.

Queen Serenity II was not surprised when Mars requested a private meeting in her offices. She knew that, eventually, her unrelenting aunt would come to her for something. Mars never did treat her as a child; if she was dying or anything of it, she could trust her to tell her.

“I need you to send me to Hikawa Shrine.”

Though that request was unexpected at best.

Serenity II paused in pulling a seat up for Mars to take, the woman instead choosing to stubbornly stand. The Queen quirked an eyebrow up in question. The senshi rarely choose to leave the Crystal Palace. In fact, she didn’t think she had ever seen Sailor Mars leave the walls since the Black Moon Attack years prior—and that had only been to follow the late-Queen out to protect her. 

“Well, obviously, I can but—“

“I want you to not let anyone know either. Even Hotaru.”

Her pink eyebrows shot up in surprise; if she was using former names, it had to be serious. Suddenly, the Queen could fill a pit in her stomach. “Mars.” She began, rounding her desk and going to the woman. “Rei. Please don’t tell me you plan to—“

The answer to that was a glare that would have made anyone screech in terror, but Serenity II only stepped back.

“Don’t be stupid. You know better than that. I would never, ever—ugh.” The glare softened to a degree as Mars pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m not going to kill myself, Usa. I just want to go somewhere from…all of this. Somewhere familiar but not.” She gestured at Serenity II, at her gown and crown, at the window where the crystal walls stood high and mighty. “All of that.”

Serenity II took a sigh of relief, but her eyes wandered from her aunt’s face. “Are you expecting me to believe that you’re okay with traveling?”

“No, I’m not. I’m not expecting anything from you. I’m asking for a favor from the child I helped raise.”

If this was any other situation, Serenity II might have thrown out a remark that Hotaru was the one with multiple mothers, not her, but she kept it to herself (and anyway, it wasn’t true). The Queen turned away from Mars and return to her desk.

It wasn’t as if she didn’t understand. Serenity II had been there—she knew what the shrine meant to Mars, how it was a source for safety for so many, including herself. As simple as the task was, however, she knew the weight of it as well.

The finality that might come with sending Mars to the place long forgotten.

Still, Serenity II hesitated to give Mars what she wanted (and needed). She was a selfish girl underneath all the glam and glitter; she knew that if she let Mars leave the walls, she might lose the last bit of her family she still had.

Mars was asking her to let go of her and Serenity II wasn’t ready to do that—but it didn’t matter, did it? Who was ever ready for this?

“I’ll transport you to the stairs. When do you want us to come look for you?”

Mars paused, then said, “Give me a day. That’ll be enough.”

Serenity II nodded and brought up a control panel to set up the private transport. As she did, Mars quietly came up behind her and, without a word, wrapped the Queen in a hug.

“I want you to know that we’ve always been proud of you, Chibi Usa. Me, Venus, Mercury, Jupiter. Your father. Serenity. We always knew you’d be the greatest thing we ever created. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Mars’ words were careful yet sure and they broke Serenity II as easily as any sword would have done. The Queen brought her hand up to her mouth, a sob rattling up her throat and threatening to ripe out of her mouth. She tried to lace her words together—to tell her what she wanted to tell the rest of them for so long.

That all her work was for their pride. That she dreamed every day of being like anyone of them.

Standing with them in battle when she was in the past was one of the proudest things she ever done.

But mostly. Mostly—and all that mattered—was this. “I-I-I-I love you s-s-so mu-much, Aunt Rei.”

Mars squeezed her with all her might and kissed her head. “I love you, too, Chibi Usa.” Then she reached around and pressed the transport button. In that instant, Mars was gone and Neo-Queen Serenity II was left a weeping, destroyed mess on her office floor.

The shrine that the senshi used for their operations during their 20th century exploits never had a name to the public. It was known that there was a shrine and it was in Japan and maybe, just maybe, it was in Tokyo, but the exact shrine was never disclosed. Mercury had wiped any references between the Hikawa Shrine and the senshi early into Serenity’s reign. By that time, people had been over flowing their schools and the Crown Arcade in order to see the places where the court had once visited. Locations in their lives—even Makoto’s old apartment building—were to become a holy pilgrimage to the people.

And while that might have seemed like a worthy cause of a shrine, the idea of people flocking to her former home and snapping pictures like it was some amusement park made Mars rightfully anxious.

Thus, Ami erased their connection to the shrine; both out of respect for Rei and for Grandpa Hino.

Still, the court had taken care to keep the shrine in order since then. Mars had mostly over saw cleaning from the palace. As shrines in general stopped becoming a point of interest, it was easy to clean the area for her, even as her duties forced her attention else. If nothing else, one could say Mars was a shrine maiden to her very core—royalty could not change loyalty to her home.

When Mars teleported to the shrine steps, she noticed two distracting things: one was that the steps were higher than she previously remembered them—the second was that they were covered with dead leaves. She wrinkled her nose at that, shoving a pile out of her way with her foot.

Okay, so maybe it had been a while since she had someone look into cleaning up the place. Sue her.

In the first time in forever, Mars removed her senshi fuku. In the place of the battle armor which she had worn for years was a soft red sweater, black jeans, and a pair of brown boots. It felt alien to wear something not made to withstand a steel blade or a gun’s blast. Vulnerable, is what she thought as she held her hands over her chest and could not feel hard armor or the velvet of her bow. Yet, it was right. This had been a place where she had felt safe so long—why shouldn’t she return to it without the guise of war and passion?

The stairs were daunting. The first step was hard and Rei took it as one would take the first step into a death chamber; with a healthy mix of hesitation and dread. The second step was easier, and the third almost felt good. By the fourth, Rei felt the nostalgia of walking up these steps day after day when returning from school—sometimes alone and sometimes followed by the clumsy footsteps of another teenage girl.

Rei took them slowly at first. Then she went up them with an even steady, confident pace. Walking up them was no trouble for her. It felt natural. Good, even. She stepped on leaves as she went, filling the crisp air with the sound of crunching and she thought she didn’t mind so much about the mess she was making.

She wondered why it had taken her so long to come back home.

However, when she reached the final step, Rei felt something inside snap.

All of a sudden, all her muscles collapsed underneath her and Rei, with a pained yell, went crashing down. Her knees collided with stone first, then her arms braced herself so that her head would be protected from impact. It felt as though someone had dropped an anvil on top of her body, squishing her down into the ground. Her limbs were frozen, sprawled around her in an unnatural way. 

Rei lay at the threshold of her shrine and for the life of her (what remaining there was), she could not move one inch.

She hadn’t even made it to the main hall. Little noises sounded out of Rei as she struggled to move her fingers, but even curling them against the floor was a chore she could not perform. All she could do was glare hatefully at her hand which would not heed her and then, with horror eating at her heart, watch as her vision clouded and then slowly turned to black.

When she came to, her head was on something soft and she felt wisps of feather soft hair brushing over her face. Rei screwed her eyes shut, growling when her face began to itch from the annoying sensation. She squirmed, the only thing she could do, and she was met with a familiar giggle.

“You look like a grumpy cat. Who wakes up frowning like that?”

Rei opened her eyes. She saw a cascade of yellow hair around her and a bloody red and orange sky above.

She was still at the shrine but…she wasn’t alone.

She tensed. “Serenity?”

Another giggle and a finger tapped Rei’s forehead three times—which was pretty annoying.

Instinct told Rei to sigh, but instinct didn’t seem to understand what she was dealing with. Carefully, Rei spoke. “Usagi?”

The blonde’s head, upside down, appeared over hers and blocked out the sky. “Who else? Jeez, Rei. Are you getting soft in the head or what? Who falls down like that?” Usagi laughed again and it sounded so clear, like the chime of a bell rang too many times.

Rei couldn’t believe it. Usagi. Her head was on Usagi’s lap. Usagi was alive. Usagi was right there with her.

Rei could kill her.

“You!” She spat out and suddenly she had the strength to sit up. “Where the hell do you get off?!”

Usagi stayed still and put her hands on her legs. She looked so young again—what, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen? Dressed up in that stupid light teal dress, a white shirt underneath, and a moon necklace hanging over her chest. Where did she get off looking so—so—so not dead!?

“You know, I heard if you yell too much, you might go grey, Rei. You should stop! I love your hair the way it is!” Usagi cheerfully said. She laughed, loud and ashamed, at the top of her lungs. Like this—the entire years Rei had spent without her—was a joke to her!

Rei seethed at her and she brought her hands up to strangle the blonde—but stopped short. Angry, she was so angry but she was so tired. She felt like her skin was about to drip off her body and her bones were going fall into a pile at Usagi’s feet.

“You were dead.” Rei’s voice cracked. “I had to bury you, you fucking idiot.”

Usagi stopped laughing and slowly her face sobered up. With all the tenderness in the world, she touched Rei’s face. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was…what you’re feeling right now? That was me. I had to go.”

“No. You’re lying.” Rei shook her head, grasping Usagi’s wrists in an effort to push her away. It didn’t work and honestly Rei wasn’t trying. “You were just being lazy! And stupid! And—and—and—“

The fire warrior made a poor defeated sound as Usagi pulled her close and pressed their foreheads together. “Rei, you don’t have to try hard any more. It’s over. We can be together. All of us.”

A hand, large but soft, touched her shoulder. “You’re not alone any more, Rei.” Mamoru.

She felt someone rush up beside her, sitting on the balls of her feet, her chin in her hands. “No one’s asking you to keep going, you crazy workaholic. Give it up!” Minako.

On her other side, someone knelt down at her side and brushed the hair out of her face. “We’re all here now. Stay with us, please?” Ami.

Someone stepped up beside Usagi and putting her hands on her hips, Rei could almost feel the eyebrow arching up at her. “You’ve always had to work so hard. It’s done, Rei. We don’t have to do that anymore. Stop fighting it.” Makoto.

She heard the purring, the soft pats of paws against the shrine’s floor, and two furry heads brushed up against her.

“You did a good job. Enough’s enough.” Artemis.

“You’re free, Rei. Let go.” Luna.

They were all here. Everyone was here. Her family.

It was all too much for her. Her shoulder quaked from the hiccups jumping from her belly and into her throat. Tears flowed out of her eyes and down her cheeks, and a keening, ugly, wretched cry tore out of Rei.

“You idiots!”

She opened her arms and threw herself at Usagi, colliding her face into the blonde’s neck, and out of her came more soul-shattering cries. Five sets of arms embraced her at once, holding her tight, keeping her grounded to the spot while Usagi laughed on.

“Welcome back, Rei!”

She was home. Finally; she was right back where she was meant to be—with her family.

When they found her, a day later, she was right where she had fallen. In the same collapsed pile of limbs, her head pressed against the ground. When Saturn reached down and pulled her tangled hair from her face, Rei was smiling.

They buried her at the left side of Serenity. The statue was of Sailor Mars, legs spread wide, fists clutched at her side, a furious perpetual glare promising pain for anyone who crossed her or her friends’ paths.

And thus, in the garden where the moonlight always managed to touch, the Inner Court lay in peace together—as they always were. For now and forever.


End file.
